Countdown to Christmas
I am really not ready for Christmas. Christmas is suppose to be a joyous time and I will say with two young children it is but I am always sad on Christmas. Ten years ago on Christmas day my grandfather passed. I think about how much he never got to see and it makes me miss him so. I see him in my children especially Booga (it could be the hair cut) but there is a face he makes that it is my grandfather. I remember so much from that day and the one thing I remember is telling my mom, Christmas is going to suck from now on. Ten years, an amazing marriage and two cute kids later, I don't think Christmas sucks anymore but it still is difficult. As the holiday approaches and the Hershey Kiss Bell commercial plays I find myself holding back tears because it reminds me of him. I know it is silly but my grandfather always had Hershey Kisses in his pocket and would ask "the ladies" if they would like a kiss from an old man. The first time someone did that to me at the hotel after he passed, I instantly burst into tears and tried explaining to this little old man why I was crying. I knew the whole time my grandpa would have been (was) laughing at me.
I guess every year it gets a little easier it is truly hard to believe it has been ten years. So I sit here and think about my Christmas Gift List and still can't believe another year has passed. Every year I say I am going to get a jump on things and every year in November I am struggling to figure out what the hell am I going to make people for Christmas. Maybe it will snow because that always gets me in the holiday spirit (i.e. swift kick in the arse that I need) living in Georgia I see that as highly unlikely. It looks like the "Magic Snow" (that I bought at the Dollar Store) might have to do the trick to get me in the holiday spirit. All I know is I desperately need something to get me in the spirit this year because I am a big giant SCROOGE this year (I see several Bah-humbaugh digis in my future).